failing or flying: back to grace

At the beginning of this year, I committed to growing Selah. I didn’t know how, but I wanted it to be a focus. I decided to start with writing. Just write. Don’t over think it. Instead of scrolling? Just write. It’s good for my heart. It keeps me grounded. Connected. Present. So just write. And I did. Pretty often. I felt more ideas coming, and momentum building. I thought I could do more. Challenge myself with a specific type of post every week. I called it the Friday Five - a collection of five things that brought me joy during the week. From products, to podcasts, mindsetting, mantras, and rhythms, I explored and dug deep and wrote one and sometimes two posts a week. I flew high with the Friday Five for a few good weeks. It was fun and thoughtful. And I was doing it. Sticking with it. Writing. I was so proud.

The first week that I didn’t post a Friday Five, I felt like a total failure. I was so disappointed in myself. It was a such simple goal: write about five things every week. But after a few short weeks, I quit. Failure. It was the thing that slipped as I loaded more and more onto my weekly schedule. Mini Motions, my preschool dance business, kicked off a new season - bringing me pure sweet joy in the form of teaching teeny tiny dancers. Also? A dear friend and I set up a weekly meeting where we talk business, babies, and our hearts - time that lifts me and stirs me up every week. Then I launched a new 30 day Selah group with 8 amazing women diving in deep together - my dream project. And then? Jordan and I dedicated one night a week to discussing a podcast. A mini at home date night every week - committed to growing our relationship in a chaotic time of parenting young children. And as I added more and more, and flew higher and higher with all the good stuff? I let go of the Friday Five. And instead of seeing all the richness I had chosen and created in its place? All I could see was failure. So I had to do a heart check. Am I failing or am I flying?

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