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the beginningI chose to be a stay at home mom. I left my job for it. I left a graduate program for it. It's what I knew in my heart I wanted: my purpose, my passion, my life. Until it wasn't. Until I looked up and realized I was spending my days physically present with my child, but mentally everywhere else. To do lists, chores, social media, day dreaming about being the next big mamapreneur, trying to force part time jobs to fit my stay at home mom life. I was exhausted from being all these places at once but really being nowhere. One day, in a desperate attempt to soothe a fussy baby, I jumped in the car and drove around. Finally silence in the back seat. I cried. I prayed. "God this isn't working. I'm tired, and I feel like I'm meant for more than being exhausted. What am I supposed to do?" Right then God answered me, as clearly as if he were in my passenger seat, "Be patient. This is a time for you and your family. Focus there and you will see where I'm taking you." It wasn't really the answer I wanted. Be patient? What am I patiently waiting for? If I knew that, it would be a lot easier to be patient. I listened, though. I refocused on myself and my family. I stopped living in someday and started living in today. It was painful. I ached for my iphone while I played on the floor. I was desperate for a nap while I journaled. I longed for my dream home while I did chores in our strange little rental house. It was hard. Until it wasn't. Until one day I looked up and was free: free from to do lists and chores and social media and daydreaming and time fillers. Free from trying to exist somewhere else. I had found my joy. Boundless, energizing, exhilarating joy. I had worked for it and learned how to pour in to myself so that I could pour into my children and those around me. I learned to look for joy by pausing and praising: Selah. It was slow and seeping and frustrating and amazing. I paused, whether for a moment, an hour, alone, with a friend, or in the midst of the chaos of mom life. I praised. I asked myself "Where is my joy in this moment? How can I appreciate this moment?" This practice of Selah - pause and praise - changed my heart. I was content. Proud. Fulfilled. I thought I had it all figured out. Until I didn't. Until I was driving to a doctor's appointment two weeks before my second child was born, and God sat in my passenger seat again and said, "It's time to share this." Again, confused, "Share what? How a simple word and practice changed my life? No one will understand. This is my secret that I can't begin to describe. Anyway, who would care? Why now? Don't you know I'm about to have a baby? This can't be right!" But it was right. God's timing is perfect. I started sharing my story and Selah St. Simons was born. Through a year of heart connection, intense vulnerability, stops and starts, frustrations, and breakthoughs, I learned how to best share Selah. It's together. My journey began alone, but it doesn't continue alone, and you don't have to be alone. I'm inviting you to join me and the beautiful hearts I've met along the way. I hope what you find here will encourage and empower you to love you life and reach out in heart connection to women around you.
Love + Light, Katie |
def: selah (v) |
Selah means pause; praise. It is the intentional act of taking time to pause and become aware. It is noticing ourselves, our world, each other, and God. Pause is followed by praise - learning to honor and deeply appreciate ourselves, our world, each other and God. Selah St. Simons encourages women to practice selah through gratitude, creativity and connection.
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