What do you do? I hate that question. Because every time, my answer is terrible. I never say what I want to say. Because what I want to say feels too bold. Too big. Too much. But I’m trying to retrain my brain to believe what I want others to believe about me. To say what I mean. To acknowledge my own value.
How do I usually answer? “I’m just a stay at home mom.” Period. End of story. Shut mouth. But here’s the narrative in my head. The one that’s fighting to really acknowledge my value. But that still, even in my innermost thoughts, is flush with minimizing words:
I'm going to be real honest. I've been on the struggle bus this week. Coming off of a birthday party and Sunday Supper weekend. A weekend of pretty much zero prep for the week. Our third week into school. My first week of Mini Motions. A holiday week. A child with a fever. Juggling. Course correcting. Changing plans. Being flexible. Getting it done. Some weeks feel really good. It's all clicking. Moods are (mostly) good. Everyone is healthy. I'm prepared. We're rested and ready. This was not that week. We started out tired and moods were touchy and fevers were flaring. Struggle bus. And in the past, when I boarded the struggle bus, I drove it straight into struggle city. I fell into the negative mindset trap that I was failing, that nothing was right, that the world was against me. But these days, I'm much better about accepting my short ride on the struggle bus. Talking myself through it, allowing some grace, and looking forward to how I can reset. Because reality? We just can't avoid the struggle bus. That's life. But we can avoid the negativity by staying mindful and positive. Even when it feels all so out of control.
I almost didn't write this Friday Five because I felt like I just couldn't do it. I felt like I had nothing helpful or positive to share. No favorites from the week. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like this might just be one of the most important Friday Fives I've done so far. We can do hard things, Mamas. We might find ourselves on the struggle bus, but we can steer it towards a place of peace and grace and contentment. We are in charge. Let's go.